maigre

The fact that a huge majority of adults believe that depression in teenagers is  not actually depression, and is only present for “attention” or “feeling sorry for yourself”, pisses me off beyond belief. This is an ongoing issues that claims so many of our youths both through death and trauma, and everyone is acting like it’s a big fucking joke when it is an actual issue that needs to be addressed. 

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I can feel it coming back.. It’s sitting there at the edge reaching in and caressing the corners of my mind. I can feel it leaving little bits of itself there.. I don’t want it to come back, I don’t, but it is and I’m not strong enough to fight it. I just want to fall back into it and let it consume me once more. But if I do I risk losing everything. I risk losing what I have with him, I don’t want him to see me like this.. I can’t. It consumes me and it destroys them. I can’t let it destroy him.. But I don’t have the will to fight. I just can’t. I don’t see the point in anything anymore.

(Source: neonfrogsnfreaks)

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Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion.

Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize//trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.

That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?

The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure.

- Why You Shouldn’t Tell That Random Girl On The Street That She’s Hot » Brute Reason  (via albinwonderland)

(via sophies-smiles)

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